I am not sure I ever thought of giftedness much prior to having children. No one ever told me there was a reason people thought I was different. I didn’t realize it as much as they noticed it. I thought everyone else was odd. Their desire to fit in and be like one another baffled me. I have always preferred going against the grain. The only difference is now I have a social media platform with which to unleash my rhetoric. My own enlightenment would be stunted but for my gifted children’s needs and our complete lifestyle shift.
Flashing back onto my childhood, I can remember arguing with my parents and how exasperated they would get. At 9, I argued against my need to go to school. I wasn’t learning anything much like my oldest child’s school experience. It is one of the few vivid memories during that part of my life. I ruffled feathers as a kid merely through personal expression and got sent home from school for violating dress codes that didn’t really exist. I don’t have the genetic code that makes me want to fit in and be like everyone else. It is just who I am. In an alternate universe I was a radically unschooled atheist child who rejected institutionalized thinking and lived a free, authentic life.
I think I am making up for lost time.
I am a lot to take in. I get it. I am reminded of it daily. Yesterday, it was a dear friend and today, my husband. Well, everyday my husband reminds me how confusing I am to be around. I am an all or nothing sort of girl yet everything lingers in shades of grey. My only consistency is my inconsistency which makes my husband crazy. I am intense, aggressive and argumentative. I go from zero to passionate in 2 seconds and I relish contention; however, not everyone else does. Thankfully, my love of argument has trickled down to my progeny.
Sometimes I overwhelm myself. Less so now that I am more self-actualized and introspective but I can appreciate how others view me. Fortunately, I tend to attract enough Amy fans that can take it. Some, even enjoy the chaos and brutal honesty.
Perspective impacts everything. How I am parenting my children and how I view education and giftedness has changed the more enlightened I have become. I view my children through a very different lens which helps me discover who I am and who they are meant to be. Subversive living allows for our passions to emerge and facilitates divergent thinking. We don’t fear who we are. We celebrate it.
My relationships tend to be all or nothing. It is a love or hate thing and those that stick around appreciate the intensity. Even in my younger years, my friendships were instant and all consuming. My romantic life was quite similar. I am finding that, like red wine, I am getting weirder with age. The beauty of understanding who I am and being comfortable with my differences allows me the freedom to live an authentic and relevant life. Giftedness shouldn’t be stifled nor quantified. It is a different way of viewing and experiencing the world. My perspective continues to evolve thanks in large part to my kooky little offspring and our freethinking lifestyle.
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